Choose: be recognized for your dedication and hard work or simply sleep through everything while going through motion whenever required. I chose the latter, and for now I think everything should be fine.
Ever since getting downgraded, I have been spending most of my time reading books and writing. Whenever there is work, Iâ€™ll just stop whatever Iâ€™m doing (or sometimes wake up from my uncomfortable sleep) and continue to do the task handed to me. However, most of the time my fellow colleague will be actively prowling around back and forth the office hunting for something to do. This results in many of the tasks being given to him which also means that I have little to nothing to do. Honestly, thatâ€™s perfectly fine with me.
Recently, he had been recognized for his hard work and extreme dedication and I being the only other guy that had somewhat the same job and title as him, am really happy for him. I worry sometimes he overworks and overtire himself too much but from my observation, idling would simply kill him even faster. Not exactly sure if he is a workaholic but I am pretty sure that he does thinks and handles issues quite differently. With that said, Iâ€™m glad that he is being recognized and that he is adapting and enjoying his work, hopefully.
Now there is just one problem. My downgrade is only temporary and soon enough Iâ€™ll be deem as fighting fit. Well to be honest, I donâ€™t really look forward nor want to live that kind of life (spending time leopard crawling, doing fire and movement, living one with nature etc)but without doing anything spectacular that will keep me in the office, I have little chances of staying on. On the other hand should I be like my extremely hardworking colleague, people will become dependent and reliant on me. In that way, people will then be more reluctant to let me go.
That was my initial plan. Work my ass off and stay on because Iâ€™m integral to the operations and without me things cannot proceed smoothly. Well, it didnâ€™t work well or rather I didnâ€™t even attempt to work towards that goal. Look at how things are run, the environment and atmosphere, everything told me that it wasnâ€™t worth it. I donâ€™t really know how to explain the situation that Iâ€™m in right now but letâ€™s just put it that within the place Iâ€™m in now the things I am doing is pretty much the odd one out. Maybe Iâ€™ll regret in the future but for now Iâ€™ll just sleep through everything and enjoy life while I can.
Oh and for the last time Iâ€™m neither being lazy nor am I slacking off. I always do whatever is required of me, nothing more and nothing less.
[image by: multi.phrenic via flickr]